An idea leaps forth from my mouth into the crowd of my friends, something new and different, an observation previously unobserved. Just as the words start to echo inside their ears, the delicate flame is quickly snuffed out. I might have spoken too confidently, used some exaggerations, and yet I do this all the time. Confidence and exaggeration are imbedded into the art of smalltalk. However this time it is different, this time the phrase is slaughtered and branded with a disfiguring seal. Labeled as pretentious.
This has happened far too often. It is as if there is a law against mixing philosophy with conversation, people seem genuinely fearful the two substances will combust on contact. The word 'pretentious' is almost like an ultimate weapon, the phrase is always seen as derogatory and yet it is not directly insulting, a silent weapon. I have been called pretentious more than a couple of times in my life, but there are those in particular who use the power of this phrase against me in what I feel is excess.
But first, like any good discussion we must define the subject. According to many dictionary definitions someone is pretentious if they “attempt to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed.” Or if they “try to act like they are more important or knowledgeable than they really are.” As it turns out the difference between being pretentious and being a showoff is separated by the thin divide of context. While being pretentious requires one to have a visible sense of superiority in their assumed knowledge, a showoff has a visible sense of superiority in something else such as athleticism.
Which of these two words is considered more derogatory? Personally I feel that being called pretentious is more potent than being called arrogant or a showoff. Its as if exaggerated intelligence is more aggravating than exaggerated talent in other fields. Though when I am part of a culture where the two exist, this bias, to me, seems completely unreasonable.
One of my friend groups has an attitude of butting heads. Exaggeration is rampant with people trying to best each other in the arena of wit and humor. Stories are thrown around, people laugh, cut others off and someone always comes out on top. Phrases obviously said in jest such as “Too skilled for you mate!” and “You’re terrible!” are everywhere.
In this environment, no deeper conversation is ever brought to light. No politics, no religion, no news, nothing. We exist within our own little bubble with no way of escaping. I like to think of it as if we were a civilization without maps, without any way of looking at what we have, where we are going and where we came from. Except it is worse than that.
Any attempt at creating a map of the surrounding area. Any attempt at questioning the dynamics of this friend group, even labeling such things as the war-like nature of our conversations is seen as sacrilege. The maps are burned when created. The high priest of this little tribe labels them as ‘pretentious’ and thus they are turned to ashes.
What is causing this? Is attempting to think deeper, only permitted when one has lost all arrogance and become a humble hermit? Well then why are we allowed to show off our achievements in life, arrogantly talking about exciting things we got up to on the weekend? I don’t know, but with the many situations I have learnt from, I can plant a couple of good guesses.
My father, the one who taught me to be cynical and skeptical, during one of his minor rants about the horrors of modern day capitalism, also labeled me as pretentious. He had just previously announced that there was no hope for humanity, when I made an attempt at sitting half way towards his view of the world. I told him that our culture and ideas of justice and equality might die with our society, so one can't say that the death of our way of life is objectively bad. I thought I had a legitimate argument, a way to think of the situation which may lead rise to other solutions. The though that maybe appealing to the greater good in a situation where none exist is not very effective at mobilize people. I did say it with confidence, I said it how I would say anything else, I said it in the same way I would talk about a social event I had been to. But no, he shut down the idea without any debate using the simple phrase "Now that's just pretentious."
Another example.
My friend was complaining about a unit he was doing at university called “Dangerous ideas” claiming it to not include the subject matter, that is, he was not learning about dangerous ideas. Just as I would add my own experience on top of someone else’s in normal conversation, I myself claimed to have a ‘dangerous idea’. I recited something which was a debated topic within my university science cohort, the claim that “the objective truth of reality is subjective,” the idea that truth itself is in the eyes of the beholder. Another friend in the chat decided that this wasn’t and dangerous idea. Fair enough, each to their own. But then he decided to kill the debate right then and there by calling me pretentious.
Do I really come across as an arrogant prick when I try to talk philosophy? But not when I talk about wicked parties, girls or personal achievements? Is exaggerating and romanticizing philosophical thought in general conversation socially illegal?
Or do people feel threatened?
Well the two instances labeled above, the two people who decided to kill a conversation with the word pretentious could very well have felt threatened. My father has always been above and beyond me, so it would be logical the he would attempt to cut the tall poppy by using that word. And that particular friend who labeled me as such has always been my rival in a multitude of ways. We are almost enemies. I have found from my personal experience that the achievements of my enemies always feel more artificial than the achievements of my friends. Maybe because of the history with us, anything I do or say to harmlessly start an intellectual conversation, he sees as an attempt by me to one-up him.
Though in the end, I don’t particularly care about conversations being killed with that word. All I can do is weep for the missed opportunities, the civilization without maps may never find their way, may never care for what is beyond the horizon. But I still can, at the risk of being passively insulted.
And so from all of this, I've pretentiously condensed my thoughts into a simple statement:
I believe that the difference between a pretentious youth, and invocative philosopher lies with the people who are listening.
